Friday, April 16, 2010


As happens every Spring, I decide that I need more dresses. I love wearing dresses, but I have no where near as many as I would like. I also don't have anywhere near enough money to buy all of the dresses I would like, so I've been looking at relatively affordable options.

I thought that Forever21 might be a good idea, since I have found nice pieces there in the past.

And I did find a few cute looking dresses on their website.

But the number of cute dresses was far overshadowed by the sheer amount of wtf dresses. I can't even call them all ugly, because some of them just make NO SENSE.

Here are pictures of a few of my favorite wtf dresses.

This is an "Origami Satin Dress" in navy blue. Not quite sure what part of it is Origami, but hey. It's part of the "Twelve by Twelve" line, which "offers a more sophisticated, modest fit than FOREVER 21."

Now, I have no idea what that means, because to me, this just looks wrong. I mean, where are you supposed to wear this? It's almost completely polyester and dry clean only, which translates to me: stuffy, uncomfortable and pointlessly expensive and difficult to clean. Plus, do you see those sleeve-things? Those scream itchy to me.

Now, I love mermaids as much as the next girl, and when I was 7 my goal in life was to become Ariel, but that does not mean that I would EVER wear this dress.

If any of you had dreams of dressing like a combination of Xena and a dominatrix, but doing it in a fun, summery kind of way, here's your dress.

If not, I'd steer clear of this dress which has somehow managed to make this size OO mannequin look like a cow.

For those of you who would rather look like a Barbie, though, here's the dress for YOU. There could be no other possible inspiration for this dress than to make the wearer look as much like a Barbie as possible; the biggest flaw, in my eyes, is that the designer hasn't seen a Barbie since the 80s.

This dress is shameful. It's a mullet dress. That is all.

And now we come to... this... dress.

I know when I go shopping, I look for outfits that make my hips and thighs look bigger, and accentuate my boobs to a point just short of painting actual nipples on the fabric.

I can't imagine this dress was designed by a woman. Or anyone who ever saw a woman... or spoke with a woman... or... looked at a woman. Seriously.

And finally, the always classy, I'm-faking-pregnant dress. Because that's ever a good idea.


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Header Image from Bangbouh @ Flickr